The church welcome that reflects us best might be this one, sometimes attributed to Coventry Cathedral, found on the internet and adapted a little:
“We welcome everyone! But we extend a special welcome to those who are single, married, divorced, gay, filthy rich, dirt poor. We extend a special welcome to those who are crying new-borns, skinny as a rail or could afford to lose a few pounds. We welcome you if you can sing like Andrea Bocelli or just growl quietly to yourself. You’re welcome here if you’re “just browsing,” just woke up or just got out of jail. We don’t care if you’re more Christian than the Archbishop of Canterbury, or haven’t been in church since Christmas 10 years ago. We extend a special welcome to those who are over 60 but not grown up yet, and to teenagers who are growing up too fast. We welcome basketball mums, hockey dads, starving artists, tree-huggers, latte-sippers, vegetarians, junk-food eaters. We welcome those who are in recovery or still addicted. We welcome you if you’re having problems or you’re down in the dumps or if you don’t like “organized religion,” (we’ve been there too).
If you blew all your offering money at the casino, you’re welcome here. We offer a special welcome to those who think the earth is flat, work too hard, don’t work, can’t spell; and those who are here because granny is visiting and wanted to go to church. We welcome those who are inked, pierced or both. We offer a special welcome to those who could use a prayer right now, had religion shoved down your throat as a kid or got lost in the Old Town and wound up here by mistake. We welcome pilgrims, tourists, seekers and doubters, and you!”